Having wisdom vs being wise.

In the shower this morning I debated the definition of yet another word. (And there afterwards wondered if I’m the only person who debates the validity of definitions.)

“What does it mean to be wise?”

My first stop was Wikipedia. With a twinge of guilt, I skimmed over the request for a $2 donation to support the site down to the definition of wise:

“Having wisdom”.

Very helpful. Thanks.

Onwards Google.

So I was right… wise can mean having wisdom (experience, knowledge or good judgement) or showing wisdom. It seems therefore possible to actually have wisdom and yet not show it. Maybe this explains the phrase “Do as I say, not as I do.” (BTW the power struggle little girl in me still hates that phrase.)

So what does this mean for being wise? Now we must question what is meant by “to be”. Anyone care to take this on? (My email is on the contact page to send your reply…)

“To be.” What a pathetic phrase with little meaning. I now understand fully why my 9th grade literature teacher (and my 8th grade one and my 7th grade one) all docked points for using “to be” verbs.

Rant over. Back to being wise…

This discrepancy in definitions of wise is what I believe stands between those who have gone before you and really know, and those who learn from books and simply say what they know. It’s also why advice is never truly internalized when coming from someone hypocritical, or someone who has not walked in your shoes. After all, how is “wisdom” acquired without firsthand experience anything more than simply having knowledge? This kind of instruction (typically unsolicited) provides nothing save a widening gap in the relationship and more firm understanding of alone for the wisdom- and guidance-seeker.

And, to each of us more personally, it represents the murky, gray area we tend to hang out in when we know something we do needs to change, but we really don’t want to, or can’t, make the change. It’s a terribly uncomfortable place to be and sit with your feelings, and gives credence to the phrase “Ignorance is sheer bliss.”

The Webster's Unabridged Dictionary defines wisdom as “knowledge, and the capacity to make due use of it.”

I should have known to trust Webster over the Googly and Wiki. This one actually makes sense, and combines the two parts.

Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, “We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” The Roman writer, Seneca seemed to agree by saying, “No man was ever wise by chance.”

Written simply- knowledge just isn’t enough. You must know what to do with it in order to be wise. (And, in most cases, move out of the grey.)

I once read that wisdom personified cries out in the street, “I am here! I bring great blessings!" Thus, the Proverb:

Proverbs 1:20-22 (ESV): Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the markets she raises her voice; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: “How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?”

There is a story in the Bible that speaks of Solomon- a young man who, after God offered him anything his heart desired, requested wisdom. In response to his humble wish, God said to Solomon:

“Because this was in your heart, and you have not asked riches or wealth or honor or the life of your enemies, nor have you asked long life—but have asked wisdom and knowledge for yourself, that you may judge My people over whom I have made you king— wisdom and knowledge are granted to you; and I will give you riches and wealth and honor, such as none of the kings have had who were before you, nor shall any after you have the like.” (2 Chronicles 1:11-12, NKJV).

The fact that Solomon asked for not just knowledge (and certainly not for worldly things) but, instead, insight on how to apply the knowledge effectively, he was granted things like riches, wealth and honor.

All the self help books in the world, podcasts, support groups, dare I say “therapy”, motivational seminars, and chats with good friends on the porch will never get you where you want to be unless these evoke true wisdom within. They typically won’t by themselves. Wisdom is more of an acquired thing- an IYKYK thing- a “been there, done that” thing.

Knowing is one thing; doing is another. Doing brings freedom. And it’s wisdom that bridges the two- a divine gift that is granted by God whenever any believer asks. This is promised through the teaching of James:

James 1:5 (ESV): If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 

What is not made clear through scripture is how God will grant you the wisdom you need and seek. Be open to the fact that it may be learning from past mistakes that brings you the missing pieces. It may be wise others in your path that help you turn pages. Or it may initiate from an ache of guilt, discomfort, frustration, or even depression that serves to gently (or if you fight, not so gently) move you through fears into new places.

When I was little, I was told many times that I was wise. Needless to say, this obviously applied in limited capacity to my own life in some areas until recently. But in all areas, I believe wisdom to be on a continuum.

The definition I created as a child trying to understand wisdom was that it was “knowledge before my time”, meaning knowledge I didn’t have to go through hard lessons to acquire on my own. Anyone who seemed wise, or who I was told was wise, was old. And they had all learned wisdom through struggles. I didn’t want that! How awful! So, little me prayed for this “wisdom before my time”.

Perhaps God gave me some instantly, like Solomon, simply because I asked. Maybe that’s what others picked up on. But in other areas, it came slowly and painfully. I lived in the grey for a very long time.

For many of you reading, I’ve been where you are. For many, many years I sat with unending knowledge about how to eat, what to eat, when to eat, how to think, what to do, what to not do, how to act, how to see myself, on, and on, and on… But what I didn’t have was any guidance on how to make the changes. How to rewire my brain. How to have just enough courage to try something, but not so much as to throw myself backwards in a tailspin of fear. Through the four years it took me to recover from Twenty-four years of struggling, I can now claim to hold wisdom in this area of my life as well, and in many other areas of necessary or desired change that grew alongside.

If you read this and are struggling to move from having knowledge to being wise, maybe God can use me in your story as a part of how He answers your request for true wisdom and victory. It would be my honor. Just reach out… and one day, pay it forward.