Growing through adversity.
Maybe I was on to something as a child when I wishfully and blissfully chanted “I don’t want to grow up, cause I’m a Toys R Us kid” along with the tv commercial during my one allowed show per day while on vacation at my Grandma’s house. (I chose “I Dream of Jeannie” btw… so there was already a lot of wishing going on!)
From where I stood at around 3 point something feet tall, growing up looked just awful! Everyone “old” worried. They were stressed a lot. They didn’t have time to play anymore. And whatever came on the TV set at 5:30 every night was so bad I wasn't allowed to watch it with the “old” family members, yet important enough I had to be quiet wherever I played, “not watching”. It never made much sense.
But, alas, I’m 5’5” now. It happened. Jeanie granted her master’s wishes, but apparently didn’t hear mine sung sitting beside my (also smaller then) little sister in a rocking recliner that didn’t work very well.
The inevitable was unavoidable. I grew up.
Unfortunately, inches added (in any direction) to your frame, dated marks on the back of the door (or more conspicuously right by the phone in the kitchen), and reaching the age where it was best just to use one single candle to represent them all in a specifically-unspecific way all depict growth in an aging and responsibility sense, but that’s about all.
In accordance with being alive, most things grow- either up, out, old, or all 3 in various orders and combinations. It happens.
Usually we love the concept of aging when we are really young, and still sheltered from the world. Then one day we look around and actually think about what growing up and older would mean. Depending on your degree of exposure vs shelter and interpretation of the lives of adults you knew as a kid, focus on the unavoidable upcoming exercise will be filled with some combination of anticipation (freedom, dating, driving, wearing makeup, staying up late, etc) and dread (more homework, a job, having to buy things for yourself, no more recesses).
All of these anticipated and dreaded events come to pass, sooner or later. Generally speaking, we all flop around a bit through them (some more than others). And unless your genie wasn’t the same as mine (she wore red and had a blond ponytail… in case you need help determining), and could grant wishes with a little more finesse through the tv screen such that life just seemed to magically “work out”, the older in age you got, the harder life also seemed to get.
The freedom meant responsibility.
The apartment meant bills.
The “dream” job meant no recess after lunch, and def no nap.
Eating whatever you wanted meant having to cook… and clean.
Staying up late meant a broken snooze button from thrown alarms and no parking left.
Dating meant commitment. And, somehow, that ended up meaning the “forever word” and children.
And children meant… more bills.
But what growing up somehow didn’t mean or equate to was “growth”… and now you need wisdom, sensibility, faith, perseverance, hope, dedication, self-control, direction, coffee and sleep. Lots of all of them please, and hopefully they come cheap.
By the time you start to think on all of this, you’ve likely (hopefully) stopped marking your height, shoes last more than a year, Teddy is now on the shelf instead of the bed (or being drooled on by the next generation?), and your backpack or briefcase weighs more daily than the trash can after Thanksgiving.
The growing part was easy. Growing up and “growth”? Not so much.
The former is done for you. God seemed to feel that a world of tiny humans was not ideal, and also seems to like the idea of time passing, so we are cellularly programmed to accomplish both.
“Why, God, why?”
(A quote by Joey from the 30th birthday episode of Friends… and by yours truly, all too often.)
Well, in order to accomplish the later- the growth part. And through it, the wisdom part. The endurance part. The hope part. All the parts.
Change, and the constant adversity that comes from getting older and living in this world, plays a vital role in growth and greatness. In fact, growth is greatest through adversity. All those attributes you need- wisdom, perseverance, faith, hope, dedication, and the others? God values them too; it’s why He makes sure we have plenty of opportunities to acquire them!
In simple terms: no adversity, no growth.
Keep in mind, though, that growth comes through adversity- not before, not during, and not afterwards.
Through.
It is the movement and progressing from the trouble to the understanding and adaptation that instigates the resulting growth. Through overcoming our obstacles in life, we learn. We develop resilience. We develop our relationship with our Creator. We adopt humility (or we should!). We get stronger and wiser.
And out of adversity, our character is developed.
Paul wrote in his letter to the Ephesians:
Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions. Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun. Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it. -Ecclesiastes 7:10-12
And we read in the book of Job: “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?” -Job 12:12
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. -Romans 5:3-6
Wish all you like, on your genie or mine, but you’ll never get younger. Instead of avoiding adversity and the growth part of growing up, we need to embrace it with courage. It is the fuel for greatness and of our becoming. It won’t always feel good, and most often real growth won’t. But it’s meant for your good (Jeremiah 29:11). So, instead of avoiding the fire, walk through it. Whatever your race, run it.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” -Hebrews 12:1
Your reward awaits.
“I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.” -2 Timothy 4:7-8
